Self-Care through Self Awareness
What do I think of when I hear the term self-care? I used to think it meant going on retreats, shopping, and getting massages. I viewed self-care as a reward for doing a good job-- for getting an A on one of my papers or getting a compliment from a supervisor. Then I had a change of heart. My perception, perspective and attitude towards the idea and concept of self-care completely shifted.
Almost four years to the day, I experienced two incredible life changes in the span of less than three months. The first was the ending of a long-term relationship with my partner and the second was the death of a loved one. In a sense, it’s as if I was grieving the loss of three individuals-- my Aunt, my life partner and, lastly, but, more importantly, myself.
After my breakup, I realized I aways prioritized my partner over everything, including myself. I needed to shift my focus back onto myself. So, at certain times of day, I found it beneficial and helpful to do a mental wellness self-check. I like to think of it as GPS. I simply hone in, on where I am at in that specific moment in time, and I ask myself How am I feeling? How is my body feeling? Is it time for a break from sitting in front of the computer? Is it time to smile? To take a moment and stop taking things so seriously? These are just a few of the questions I ask myself when incorporating self-care on a daily basis.
As I was preparing to transition to a new job, these life events occurred suddenly. After going through a roller coaster of emotions like anger, fear, sadness and despair, I felt numb. As the saying goes, “when it rains it pours”. Unfortunately, the emotional and physical pain I felt led to deep bouts of depression and anxiety.
Through clear intention, mindfulness, and daily meditation, I was able to pull myself back up. I rediscovered myself in the process of losing myself. Sometimes you actually do need to get lost, in order to find oneself. My self-care now includes yoga, meditation, dance and movement. In addition, I am now a part of a likeminded community that fosters unity, support for one another, and a safe space to share. Self-care no longer was a reward for an accomplishment, it was a daily practice that I needed in order to stay grounded and present with myself.
In closing, take time for yourself. Every moment matters. In life, individuals deal with struggles we don’t normally see on the surface. Share a smile - a simple, genuine gesture can make a difference. Consider taking that yoga class you’ve been putting off or enrolling in a dance class or learning a new language/skill. It’s in those moments where connections are created and forged. Invest in yourself. By doing so you’ll be better equipped to one day take care of others in need of your support and assistance. Choose you. Choose yourself and make YOU a priority starting today and every day forward.
