What is your body telling you?

Something felt off this month.

My period was ultra-late, later than it’s ever been. I took a pregnancy test and waited— it came back negative, so it had to be something else, but what? Is this my body telling me, “You’re stressed out! Slow down!”? I had to investigate.  

Every day felt like Groundhog Day to me— wake up at 6:30 am to spend a little bit of alone time with my husband before he went to work, be productive around the house, start my workday at 11:30 am, finish working at 8:30 pm, quickly eat dinner, accidentally fall asleep at 10 pm on the couch (while trying to spend time with my husband again, whoops) rinse and repeat. 

Insomnia hit me most nights. I was so tired and unmotivated to be productive that I’d sleep in every morning. And if I did wake up before my 11:30 am shift I felt like I didn’t have a life because I was working all day. A lot of days I wouldn’t shower— I’d just throw my hair up in a messy bun. I wouldn’t change out of my pajamas, and I tried my best to eat greens with my meals and drink water when I remembered to. 

I was doing the bare minimum for myself and for my body. 

One day, I finally went to the doctor for lower back and hip pain I’ve had for years. The nurse asked routine mental health questions because I’ve had numerous depression and anxiety episodes in my file.   

“Do you wish to harm yourself or others?” 
“Do you find it difficult to sleep and stay asleep at night?” 

You rate the questions on a scale from 0-3 on how you’ve felt in the last two weeks. Zero meaning “no” or “less likely” and three meaning “yes” or “very much”. The questions didn’t bother me. I was honest in my answers as this was a pretty routine questionnaire for me to fill out. 

Then the nurse told me she had more questions for me based on my first questionnaire. My result tally was just enough to raise concern and I was asked if I wanted to talk to a specialist on-site. 

I told her I did.  

I didn’t feel defeated in answering this question with a yes, or feel ashamed for needing help. I felt sad that I let myself go. 

Then she took my blood pressure, and, to my surprise, it was 140/something. I don’t have a history of high blood pressure. She asked me if something was wrong, and I broke down. I told her I was on the verge of crying. And then it happened. I realized that, at that moment, my body was hurting. I was aching all over, not just in my back and my hip. I could feel tightness everywhere— my knees, my chest… even my scalp. 

I wasn’t taking care of myself. Something had to change. If I wanted to feel good, I needed to make sure my mental, physical, and emotional health were all in check.  

That week, I took action. I spoke with several managers at work and got my shift changed to normal working hours— now my husband and I get to wake up together and enjoy dinner together every night. I got referrals for my lower back and hip pain so I could start going to physical therapy. I made an appointment to talk to a therapist about my mental health. And I got my period back on day 28 again. 

It’s amazing what your body can do if you just listen and be kind to it.  

I’m making sure I do something good for myself at least once a day. Whether it’s breathing techniques, meditation, yoga, journaling, soaking in the bath, going for a walk, drinking tea or coffee, or laying on the ground and looking up at the clouds. It's so important to do one good thing for yourself daily— one thing that makes you happy and gives you light. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.